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  • Daily Affirmations

    • Panic

      I will work with my feelings of panic today. Rather than swing into emotional action by shutting the feeling down or by projecting my own panicky feeling onto someone else, I will first identify it as a feeling within me. When I project the feeling, I do not experience it. Then I do to another [...]

    • Being Open

      Today I feel open to whatever is going on, recognizing that it is the quickest way to process repressed material, the fastest way to grow and the most fun way to live my life and feel alive. In recovery I process
      years, even decades of material in a condensed time. There are moments when I feel [...]

    • A Full Human Being

      I am willing to pay the price of personal and spiritual growth. Confronting the situations both within and outside that frighten me is not easy-it can feel terrifying, sometimes almost life-threatening. But today, rather than bemoan my fate, I will reach deep down into myself and look for something good. I will be sustained not [...]

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    Trusting The Good Times

    Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

    Today I am capable of allowing my life to feel good. My habit pattern from my past has taught me that when life is going well, not to trust it. I unconsciously wait for the bottom to fall out when life feels too good, fearing what I learned as a child, that it will not last. When I get like this, I do something to mess things up. Just being aware of this will help me to ride out the good times, as threatening as they may be. It is the nature of life for nothing to last, good or bad. Good and bad are the judgments we bring. Actually life is like a constantly
    changing kaleidoscopic series of events, presenting themselves over and over again in endless variety. Understanding this makes it easier to step back and enjoy life for what it is. It can give me a stage upon which I enact my play, but it cannot give me meaning. I give life meaning by my attitude toward it.

    I will flow with the times.

    The person who does not make a choice makes a choice.

    Jewish proverb

    Passing Soul By

    Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

    I will not pass soul by like a stranger in the night. I will look for it. I will be still and wait for the veil of illusion to be lifted so that I can see what is behind it. Soul is not locked in a jewel box or floating somewhere in the sky. It is not the province of a privileged few. Soul is there for me when I am ready to look, willing to embrace it and make it part of my day-to-day living. Soul is not obscure and oblique; it is simple-so simple that I pass it by without noticing its presence. Soul is quiet, so quiet that I do not hear it calling. There is no path toward soul, no journey or secret passageway that will lead me to it. Soul is here and now. It is present in all that is.

    I am willing to see soul.

    We only see the outer covering of reality and it’s only when our inner senses are opened, when our inner life is opened, that we pierce through the unreality.

    Sister Pascaline Coff

    The Benefits To This Recession

    Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

    Some friends and I were sinking into that backdrop of twilight sky, flickering lights and people in motion that make eating outside in this city so strangely cozy and entertaining…and we got to talking. There are some benefits to this recession when it comes to returning New York City to some of its livability and charm. Is it my imagination or because people are going out less do they seem to be enjoying it more? Maybe it’s just summer and everyone is more relaxed, traffic is down and the streets are calmer but something about New York City just feels less frantic. There are tons of folks, for example, streaming into the park; friends, lovers and families with little children loaded down with picnic baskets, laying down blankets and settling in for free concerts and movies. Sidewalk restaurants are full of attractive, interesting looking people leaning into animated conversation over bread, wine and plates of pasta.

    And an added bonus, some of the worst kind of New York types are less in evidence. The wannabes who walk down the street shouting into their cell phones, trying to look like wheeler dealers, the masters of the universe types who stare …..somber and smug…. through the tinted windows of their black limos; the over dressed, over jeweled and over-ampted shoppers for whom nothing is quite right. You know the types? When there is less money to spend or show off, well people do less spending and showing off. It’s a relief.

    This recession has done a lot to remind people of what’s really important, to get us to reflect on how things got so out of control to begin with; it has been humbling and sometimes being humbled brings out the best in people. Humbled people tend to be less preening and competitive and more focused on getting on with it and enjoying the moment. The simple pleasures seem worth more; walks through the park, dinners with friends; noticing and valuing what you already have and where you already are instead of always wanting to have more and be somewhere else.
    And culture becomes more important again. After all going to the museum is cheap entertainment and a lot more elevating (well this could be argued, I suppose) than shopping. Seeing a play, though not cheap, is still less than some evenings can add up to in New York, it’s good value, more bang for your buck. An experience to be remembered.

    When rents fall more people can live here. The City was rapidly on its way to pricing everyone but big money makers or people in rent control out and that’s not healthy. New York needs its art loving, people oriented, intelligent middle class, the ones who are here to use and enjoy the city rather than possess and own it.

    Maybe we’re getting our city back so that those who live here, raise their families here and love the little stuff that makes this city “this city.” They can can remember why they wanted to live here in the first place. Strolling down Fifth Avenue, meandering along the side streets of downtown, Chinatown, bagel shops, corner delis, book stores and the rare mix of people from all walks of life can be rediscovered. We can take a momentary break from breathlessly getting ahead, stop and, well not smell the roses exactly, but love that feeling of being surrounded by something alive and endlessly interesting, a city that has a pulse of its own that never stops beating. And we can actually spend some time just enjoying each others company instead of constantly networking and “getting ahead” to a place that no one can quite define. If less affluence means living more in our bodies and less in our heads and wallets, then maybe we can learn something about ourselves during this period, maybe we can remember the value of doing less and enjoying it more.

    Walking on Eggshells

    Saturday, July 4th, 2009
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    Dr Tian Dayton on addiction and emotional sobriety.

    Signs of Emotional Sobriety

    Friday, July 3rd, 2009
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    Dr Tian Dayton on the signs of emotional sobriety.

    Growing Up in a Family That Hurts

    Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
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    Dr Tian Dayton on the effects childhood trauma and how to address emotional post trauma stress.

    Achieving Emotional Sobriety: Achieving Life in Emotional Balance

    Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
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