I am carrying something inside of me that is undermining my happiness and stealing my joy. I am sick and tired of holding onto this pain no matter where it started or who it belongs to. It belongs to me now, lives inside of me, disturbs my peace of mind and exacts a heavy price.
This disease is traumatizing. It is shocking. It takes away my sense of normal. It makes people I love unpredictable and scary. It undermines my trust and faith in an orderly and predictable world and in my primary relationships. Sometimes the earth beneath me can feel un-solid, shaky and unreliable. And when I feel like
I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it. I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it. I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it. I need to repeat and repeat this to myself in order to deal with my powerful
Today, I will not hide my pain and suffering from myself or from my Higher Power. When I bring my most honest and pure self to the fore, when I am truly willing to turn over my angst to a power greater than myself, something changes. I let go and create space for a shift
My only job is to stay on my own path. I cannot help anyone who doesn’t want my help. If someone wants what I have they will also want to find it in their own way. I cannot really teach anyone. I cannot really save anyone. Especially those close to me. My feelings of disgust
I need to detach with love from those I care about who are still mired in this disease. I will tolerate the pain of watching. When I detach with resentment, it is not detachment, it keeps me preoccupied and connected. When I amputate, it is not detachment, I develop phantom limb. I still hurt where
I can only live one hour at a time. This hour. All I have to do is to live this hour well and let the rest take care of itself. All I have to do is not self medicate, act out or sink into despair or emotional drunkenness this one day. I can do, a
I will live this day and all that’s in it. I will appreciate what has been given to me. I wake out of a warm bed and I say thank you. I have a morning cup of tea or coffee and I say thank you. I recognize that I have a safe and comfortable place
I will not take the fall for anyone any more. If I misbehave I will promptly admit it and I will take steps to rectify things. I will keep my side of the street clean. If someone else misbehaves, it’s theirs to correct, not mine. I cannot manage a relationship conflict from both ends. When