Today I see that I cannot really forgive while I am holding on to anger. I try for forgiveness because I know that ultimately it will give me freedom but when I come near to it, what comes up for me is anger. My rage is deeper than my ability to forgive. That is all I have today. Part of my healing is to know this. It is the rage that built up in me
being a child ignored in my own home with no one to go to for protection, my anger at having reversed roles with my parents and at having to be their parent. How burdened I felt carrying their painful emotions for them because they were unable to own them. I lived with the hurt because they “felt fine