Today, I will have fun. Living with addiction made me afraid of fun, I worried that chaos would follow. It made me less spontaneous because I was holding onto my insides so tightly, it taught me to mistrust the kind of letting go that having fun requires. But what’s the point of all the work I do in recovery if my life doesn’t become lighter and happier? Even though I am working through deep issues, there is no reason why I can’t have some enjoyment in the process. Fun is when I relax and let things happen—when I can laugh at myself and other people—when I don’t take everything in life so seriously. Fun is when it doesn’t have to be all my way—when the heavy load is removed, when my meter is turned off and I just goof around in the moment. Today I see that there is no reason not to enjoy myself.

On with the dance, let joy be unconfined is my motto, whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfine.

–Mark Twain