Living with this disease has been traumatic for me and for those I love. All of the symptoms of trauma have become a part of who we are. That’s why we need to do so much work to recover. We’re not just recovering from the disease of addiction, we’re recovering from the symptoms of emotional and psychological trauma. My fear apparatus got very much overused in my family. I was constantly geared up for fight or flight. And when I couldn’t do either of those I froze in my tracks, I went numb inside or tried to become invisible till danger passed. But all of that pain that I shut down stayed inside of me. It gets triggered and I over react to situations and relationship dynamics that I might otherwise handle more calmly. Even though I am not still living under the same kind of stress as I once did when I was  surrounded by active addiction, my body and mind carry the imprint of that trauma and over react. I live as if the stress-or is still present. My old pain and anger are surfacing after the fact in a post traumatic stress reaction.

I need to heal from emotional and psychological trauma

                   “If it’s hysterical, it’s historical