What I hide, hides me. When I’m more invested in keeping something hidden then unearthing and exploring it, I need to wonder why I am doing that. Is it shame at what others will think that keeps me silent? Is it that I cannot imagine being forgiven or that I cannot forgive myself for who I was and what I did? Is it loyalty to a family system that believed that family business always belonged within the family, behind closed doors? Whatever it is, I need to take a good look at it today and see if keeping something hidden and secret is affecting my recovery. I need to get honest with myself and feel the feelings I don’t want to feel that might come up when I think of coming out of hiding about something in particular. The energy it takes me to keep something hidden is energy that is not freed up for my recovery. I need to process what I am hiding so it has less of a hold on me. I need to release it for my sake, for the sake of those I love who feel it in the atmosphere but feel crazy because I don’t own it and for my own recovery.

I am responsible for what I am hiding and I am willing to look

We dance round in a ring and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows.

Robert Frost